My Grandfather, Raymond Ferguson, passed away on June 10th, 2009. Today is his funeral. The past few days have been hard, and I’ve gone through them feeling like a zombie…just sort of numb. I have a hard time getting to sleep even though I am exhausted, and when I wake up I don’t feel rested. I’m just kind of stunned, like I’m on autopilot. I imagine everyone else in the family feels that way too. I’ve never lost anyone close to me before this, so I’m not sure how to get through it. I imagine today will be the toughest day yet for all of us. I’m so thankful that I have such a big and loving family though – so far we’ve been getting through this together. Today will be te end though…it will be final. Even though as soon as I saw Gramp of Wednesday just after he had passed away, I knew his soul was gone. His body was just an empty shell. It didn’t really look like him. I think in a way that made it easier for me to see him. I’m Christian, so I truly believe he’s gone to Heaven. His suffering is done, and he’s gone on. There are so many good times to remember too. He was such a goof! Always joking around and raising heck with us grandkids. Att he viewings yesterday we all shared stories about him, and I think that really helped. He’s leaving behind quite a legacy. So many awesome stories that he’s told us. I’m especially grateful to have Rob when it comes to that. Gramp told him stories that he had never told anyone else. Him and Rob would sit there for hours just talking. They were very much the same. So now Rob has a whole bunch of Gramp’s stories, and he has a good memory, so they will live on.
Well, I guess I’d better go get showered and ready, and get Rob up to do the same. I imagine I’ll post more about Gramp later, maybe some of his stoires. I’m working on a page in my art journal for him, so maybe I’ll scan that in and post it when I get it done.
I love you Gramp. I hope you’re with us in spirit today. We all love you and miss you very much.